Somedays are just too bad, and you do not do anything right as a parent. You have a toddler throwing all tantrums at you and your elder kid just doesn’t want to listen to you! Everything you say pushes them further away. Baby sleeplessness could be taking a toll on your life and the elder one entering into the teens could be even more difficult to handle.
Both of you snapping at each other all day will only lead to differences and distance. You might be all tired and stressed. But, there comes a moment when you recover and as a parent want to reconnect with your kids and let them know that you still love them like always before. Think of the time you had to be away from your partner or family. There was a mixed feeling of sadness, anxiety and impatience, awaiting the moment to reunite with them.
You have missed them while they were away and want to hold them, hug and speak to them about everything. Let them know how important they are and ask them what you missed out. This is exactly what your kid needs at this point in time – a meaningful reconnect. You are your kid’s first friend and they might have missed you (for various reasons). We are going to speak about a few vital things you need to know while your reconnect with your kids.
Meaningful Reconnect Ideas with Your Child
You as a parent might know what to do for your kid, but have you thought about what the child needs form you? Let’s take a look:
1. Focus on your Kid:
Plug out everything when you reunite with your kid. Television, mobile – everything goes off. Spend a quality time focusing on your kid who has felt lonely without you. Distractions make it only worse as you do not connect with what is actually happening.
For example: If you are trying to talk to your kid while looking into your mobile, firstly the kid knows that you aren’t paying enough attention and also learns to behave in a similar fashion with others. Secondly, as a parent, you are bound to again get stressed multitasking (having done that already the whole day). Thus, if you find difficult to take such time off your work/ chores, schedule a time when you can reunite with your kid and be completely available to them. Talk to the kid and listen to all that they have to share. Show your kids how much you love them!
2. Learn the Language of Love:
Every person has a different style of showing love and this is very much true in the case of kids. For one, a parent gifting a child could be a sign of love but for another, a walk with their parents and sharing stories is love. When I was young, I remember my father always used to get me dolls when he used to come back home from his official tours. But I value the days he took me along for evening walks and shared things about his tour. The walk was so special to me and made me feel important and loved as compared to the toys and gifts. Reuniting with my father was really important to me as he was gone for most of the days of a month!
3. Make Eye Contact:
It is true when they say “eyes speak a lot”. Try this – find a quiet place to relax and stare into your kid’s eyes and smile. You feel the world has just stopped and everything that matters to you is your baby. You need to experience the profound blissful love that your kid shares in return when they stare into your eyes. Form the special bond with your child and sense the reward to your parenthood.
4. Talk to Your Kid as Friends:
Like we said earlier, you are your child’s first friend. Thus talking to them by getting down to their eye-level and using words that they understand and relate to makes it easy for them to connect to you. Do not look down on a child when speaking to them, it just makes them conscious and distance from you. Respect your child and speak to them with patience, composure and love. This is a very effective was to reconnect even with bad kids.
5. Snuggle:
Touch and love cure a lot of pain. When you have had a bad day, just snuggle your baby and see it do wonders. Make sure when you return from office or your kid comes back home from school, snuggle and cuddle and speak to them. This is a very good way to reconnect with your kids.
6. Keep Your Promises:
So, promises are not meant to be broken. Do not promise your kid what you know you cannot. Or at least discuss why you had to break the promise and that you are gutted too. Stay true to yourself and your kid. Honesty builds up a stronger base for your relationship.
7. Laugh, Love, Live:
Laughter has the power to bring people closer. Parents in their own routine forget how to be loved and to show love sometimes. But we do not want our kids to go through the same, do we? Take some time off and work together with your child, laugh together and love them for they are the real happiness in your world.
Every one of us goes through struggles in life, who doesn’t? In such tough moments dealing with the stress levels itself is a big thing to do. However, accept life how it comes and gives the best to your children for them to grow healthy! Put yourself into their shoes to understand how they feel. Let them know that your love for them does not lessen just because you are angry! Reassuring them is your job to do.
Be sorry for your discourteous actions and promise to not repeat it over again. Assess your temperament and catch yourself before losing your calm. The fact of life is happiness won’t come from winning a lottery but from your kids learning to behave or put their toys away after they are done playing. Nothing stays permanent but morals do. So put in efforts as a parent to bring the best in your kids.
