One of your most important and challenging part for a parent is to raise children who become independent and self-reliant people. Certainly, in the early development phase of your children, they count on you. As infants, they rely on you for nourishment, cleaning, and mobility. As your children grow, they become more independent in the basic areas of living, but still depend on you for love, protection, guidance, and support. As children reach adolescence and move toward adulthood, they become less reliant on you and gain greater independence in all aspects of their lives. This process of this separation prepares your children for the demands of adulthood (R). But, this progression towards adulthood is not inevitable and is often stymied by well-intentioned, but misguided, parents.
Independence is not something that your children can gain on their own. They have neither the perspective, experience or skills to develop independence separately from you. Rather, it is a gift you give your children that they will cherish and benefit from their entire lives. You can provide your child with several essential ingredients for gaining independence by giving your children love and respect and teach them they have control over their lives.
In this article, we will focus on the various ways to make your child independent and how to raise an independent child. Let us focus on the factors that help us in building child development independence.
Why Should Kids Learn to be Independent?
Your kids might be little ones today but eventually, they are going to grow up to be fully functioning adults. Learning a few skills of independence (R) early in life can make them well-prepared to handle the demands of adulthood.
- Children do take some time to understand the concept of choices and make a decision that they think is best for them. By introducing or teaching choices early on in their life, the children can start knowing themselves better and understand what truly makes them happy.
- It enables children to gain first-hand knowledge and teach them to be self-discipline.
- Self-esteem within a person is developed at quite an early age. And this can be stronger and important if a child starts having faith in himself and his own decisions in every phase of life. Independence in a child helps in this regard and makes a child feel worthwhile early on.
- Books contain information but knowledge is gleaned only through action. The difference between warning your child about the danger and your little one actually facing it is a huge one. Being independent(R) allows your child to start learning things by himself and be better informed as a person.
- it prepares children to handle failure and stress.
Ways to Make Your Child Independent:
1. Teach them Responsibility:
The very first way to make your child independent is by teaching them the power of taking or learning responsibility.this is one of the task as a parent to teach children about responsibility. If your child has a clear understanding of what is expected from them, then it will be easier to stay within the confines of those responsibilities. You can start the teaching responsibility to your child, If you are planning a picnic and you need your child to help you out with packing or other stuff then, give him/her the simple tasks such as making a list of items you might need or going ahead and packing his own bag for a short trip you might be taking or planning up.
2. Demand Accountability:
Many parts of our culture send a message to children that nothing is their fault. Whether rationalizing bad behavior, looking for scapegoats on which to blame misfortune, or faulting others for their failures. children are constantly told that they do not need to be responsible for their actions. Yet, the ability of children to hold themselves accountable for their actions is a critical part of becoming independent. The reluctance of children to take responsibility for their actions is based on their desire to protect themselves from failure. By blaming outside other factors, such as other people, bad luck, or unfairness, the children can safeguard their egos from harm. Yet, responsibility is two sides of the same coin. Your children can’t take responsibility for their achievements and successes unless they are will to take responsibility for their mistakes and failures.
3. Encourage Exportation:
Early in your child’s lives, the parents need to keep them on a fairly short “leash” to ensure safety for their kids. This care builds your child’s a sense of security by teaching them that they have a safe place to return to if they venture too far and that you are there to protect them when needed as possible as.
However, there is a fine line between security and dependence for your child. When your children have established their sense of security, then you must encourage them to explore the world beyond the safety net that you provide. This “push out of the nest” allows your children to test their own capabilities in the “real world” and to find a sense of competence(R), security, and independence within themselves.
4. Provide Choice:
A child can have preferences and choose one thing over another from as young as a few months old. This is another impactful way to make your child independence, You can begin to inculcate the habit of good decision making by offering your child age-appropriate choices. As a general rule or fact, the younger the child, the fewer the options are offered so as not to confuse them. As your child shows up maturity, you can widen the range of choices or option available to them. Creating frequent opportunities to exercise choice is important, as that gives your child a sense of much-needed practice of wise decision making and handling situation.
5. Affirm your Child:
A child needs the self-confidence to blossom and become independent – and this result from being encouraged and affirmed (R) by the trusted adults in their lives. A study has shown that children who are regularly affirmed have a healthier sense of self-worth and experience greater success in overcoming challenging situations(R) Make it a personal goal or routine to affirm your child daily. You may choose to praise their effort, positive attitude, or even acknowledge a blossoming character trait such as diligence or compassion. However you choose to do it, you will give your child a much-needed emotional boost and make them more confident as they venture out as young adults.
6. Teach Everyday Skills and Provide Opportunities:
In mostly society where working parents is a commonality and paid help is plentiful and affordable, it is not uncommon to have life in helpers who take care of household matters. According to statistics published by the Ministry of Manpower, the number of foreign domestic workers have gradually risen over the past 5 years. Parents need to consider how to strike a balance between a well-run home and giving their children the opportunity to pick up basic skills through doing household chores this contribute a lot in making your child independent. Being able to practice and master these everyday skills will help your child become more independent, and should begin from a young age. A little one can be taught to put away their own toys, while older children can help with laundry, cleaning floors, setting the table at mealtimes and even acquire simple cooking skills.
7. Practice Independent Learning:
One of the best ways to equip your child for future success is to help them to be lifelong learners. When it comes to academia, every parent takes the pain of having to repeatedly nag at their children to complete their work and progress further. When this occurs regularly enough, the children can also become dependent on their parents to chase them and forget about their work.
To break out of this unhealthy cycle try to teach your child the skills of independence they need to be independent learners. Start simply by asking your child to evaluate their current progress and work where they feel they need some kind of help. Have a clear discussion on the possible ways that they can get the help of it. For some kids, more regular revision or even sourcing for online tutorials may be the answer for others to find.
Finally, you get your child to set their own goals and setup that are related to effort and give mastery of a subject rather than merely grade focused on it. For example, one kid may have a target that is ‘to speak Mandarin daily at home’ rather than ‘to score 80 percent in the oral examination’ too. a child takes ownership of their learning and independence, and are more likely to be proactive about it as well the school holidays are a good time to start off with.
8. Avoid Hand-Holding your Child:
Most parents get with confusing guidance with hand holding and constantly intervene in the child’s actions and activity. If the kids are doing something wrong or are taking longer than needed time. At early ages of the beginning, it is good to guide your child with some instructions or with some open ended suggestions that will inform kids of the possibility that the task can be completed in an easier and simplest way. As the kids grow up, yet they come to you, if they need any kind of help, rather than intervening needlessly as of the situation is.
9. Establish a Proper Routine:
Children can create some trouble while making certain decisions for themselves if they don’t think sequentially and appropriately. This can be easily handled by establishing or imposing a fixed routine for kids. Once your kid knows what things needs to be done on a particular day and at a particular time, they will start doing it all by themselves.this will also help them to build a healthy lifestyle habit.
10. Teach Negotiation:
Most children tend to start viewing or presenting the world as a win and lose proposition.try to Open up your child to the world of compromise and negotiation and the really busy world. The child will start understanding to make the best of the situation that is presented before him in a new hope of seeing every and each situation. The kids can either choose the picnic location or the picnic lunch but he cannot do both things at a time. This will help the kids to learn the priorities of his own preferences.
11. Allow them to Take Own Decisions:
The parents might prefer to have their child do his/her homework before he goes out to play. But the kids might prefer playing first and then completing his homework. Allow your child some degree of freedom and chance to in smaller aspects of doing things at own. The things include such as choosing what to wear, what snack to eat in the evening etc. As long as the kids do what he promises it shouldn’t have a problem with you.
12. Offer Suggestion:
If the parents find their child struggling to find a problem, then do not rush to rescue your kid from that of situation. Instead, this is what you can do or implement:
- It is a good idea to offer guidance, rather than solutions.
- Allow your child to think of ways to come out of the problem.
- You may be surprised to see how your kids came up with a candid solution to the problem.
In reality, a child does not become independent and self-reliant overnight. This is a gradual process that unfolds over the course of time with you consistently investing time and effort in equipping them with the skills and information. Try these tips or strategies on a regular basis and you will have the confidence in raising an independent child as a result.
