It may be shocking for you when your child says that he/she likes someone. Receiving someone’s attention may delight your child. As a parent, this may make you to worry.
Falling in love is a universal phenomenon. As the children grow, their feelings will also grow. Children may not know what exactly the relationship is. Often kids share their first crush with their friends, siblings before it reaches you. You can identify their feelings well if paid attention to.
This article aims to teach you the ways to handle your child with a crush. It presents the the signs of having the crush and the ways to talk to the child about crush.
Elementary School Crushes:
Your elementary school kid may begin to like someone after small fight with their peer of opposite sex. Your child may be attracted towards someone with the qualities which he/she likes most. They can not distinguish between friendship and crush. Your children may not be really ready to have a crush. They are not mature enough to handle sensitive relationships.
Kids usually develop crushes at the age of 5 to 6 years.
Things that make your child to have a crush:
Childhood is a very innocent stage of the human life cycle and it is shocking to hear that your child has a crush. Your child may not have his own thought of having a crush. Here are the few things that make your child to have a crush:
a. Movies: Viewing movies with sex, love, and adultery content may make them more vulnerable to the thought of having a crush.
b. Smartphones/laptops: Watching videos and using social media to connect to new friends are pulling out the kids from their academic activities and making them get into unknown relationships. Social media is the main source of many reciprocal relationships.
c. Friends: Kids may usually come across discussions ranging from their puppies to adultery things. For example, your child may be excited by the love story narrated by his/her friend and may wish to have a crush on someone.
d. Puberty: Children at this stage may experience mood swings and romantic feelings. These maturation rates may vary from child to child. Help the younger ones to cope up with the challenges by starting open communication about sexual things while respecting their privacy.
E. Mimicking Relationships: Kids learn the things easily from the adults or the people around them do. They might have managed to have a crush by observing their adult brother/sister or their friend’s siblings.
How to Notice that Your Child has a Crush?
It is very easy to spot the signs of the crush in your child as they can not hide or control their emotions and feelings for longer times. Here are the few kid’s first crush signs:
Sign 1: Your kid may be eager to share the news of a specific person
Sign 2: Your kid may be curious to listen to that person
Sign 3: Your child will feel shy while talking about that person
Sign 4: You may notice blush on their face when you speak about a specific classmate.
Sign 5: Your child may spend most of the time in front of the mirror focusing on appearance
Sign 6: Kids with the crush will playhouse or wedding game at the corner of the playground.
Sign 7: Your kid may show immense interest in something which they do not have earlier.
Sign 8: They spend most of the time with the social media
Sign 9: Your kid may love to spend time alone
Sign 10: Loss of appetite, mood swings, and unusual secretiveness may be the signs of having a crush.
How To Talk To Your Child About Crush?
If your child opens up that he/she has a crush. Then it’s time to speak to them about the crush and know what the word crush means to them. Be a good listener to your child’s feelings. This way helps you to figure out their concerns and offer better support.
If your child does not want to reveal their feelings then make them open by using friendly phrases. Ask them what exactly their crush means to them. You may find answers varied from best friend to they wish to marry their crush.
How To Handle Your Child’s First Crush:
1. Be a Good Listener:
Listen to your kid’s crush story patiently and show your excitement. This encourages your kid to share everything with you. Respect their sensitivity and feelings while listening to them.
2. Make Your Kid Emotionally Balanced:
Kids fall in love easily when they are at the initial stages of reading their feeling. Make your kid understand the difference between love and infatuation. Never say that they are wrong. Always respect your kid’s feelings.
3. Do Not Laugh:
If your child is talking about backyard crushes do not laugh. This prevents them from opening up to any matters in the future.
4. Be Aware…What’s Going On With Your Kid!!
These days, preteen and teenage years children, being misguided by the definition of love, putting pressure on each other for sexual exploration. So, be aware of your child’s activities.
5. Do Not Trivialize… In Case of One Sided Love:
If your child has a one sided love, do not trivialize by using sarcastic phrases. Console him and stress that rejection is common in everyone’s lives.
6. Don’t Blame:
Never comment on your child’s crush in front of your child or other adults. This may make the child lose confidence in you. Children share the things to you with the confidence and belief that they have in you.
7. Do Set Limits:
Parents often struggle in setting limits for their children. If your child has a crush and asks for a sleepover with his/her friends. Reject gently by using phrases like “It’s really nice! But, I will see next time (specify the reason).”
8. Keep a Track on Your Child:
Keep track of the activities of your child like the games they play, TV shows they watch, the amount of screen time, etc. Make sure that your kid should not know that you are observing them. If your child is involved in a reciprocal crush, then he/she may spend possibly more time texting his/her crush. Put a limit on the usage of mobile or computer.
9. Don’t Criticize Their Love:
If you know that your child has a crush on someone, Don’t make them angry by using adult-oriented words. This encourages the child to go further with the crush.
10. Look For the Open Lessons:
If your child speaks to you about their crush. Then it’s time to teach them things like respect, privacy, and kindness. Never regret to share the open facts like a well-mannered person never kisses or speaks about it.
11. Teach Them Empathy:
If someone is interested in your child and your child is not interested in them, help your child in handling the situation. Encourage your child to build and develop empathy. This helps to reject the situations in a gentle way, making them maintain positive relationships.
12. Talk To Them The Feelings:
Make your child understand the difference between romantic feelings and friendly feelings. Ask your child about the feelings that they have for their crush.
13. Interpersonal Skills Plays a Key Role:
Sometimes crush may make the child hurt. It’s very painful for the parents to see their children hurt. Getting hurt and recovering to continue daily routines are the main interpersonal skills. Make your child learn how to cope up with the situations.
14. Teach Your Child Social Limits:
Teach your child emotions and limits that are to be maintained with their friends of the same gender and opposite gender.
15. Determine Whether Their Crush Is Mutual:
If you find out that your boy/girl is loving a person of the opposite gender in their class. Ask your child, whether the opposite person has the same feeling or not. If the answer is no- then tell your child that you should not make the opposite person to like you, because they may feel uncomfortable and their feelings should be respected.
16. Young Love is Fleeting:
Whenever the situation comes, teach your child that love does not last. Instead of whether your child is a heartbroken or heart breaker, it’s best to ask for the experiences. Do not trivialize.
17. Help them to heal hurt feelings:
Teenage is the crucial stage where children are usually discouraged by their hurt feelings. In case your teen has come across unrequited love, help them to come out of it and start a daily routine.
18. Help Them To Adopt Strategies:
Talk to your child about their goals and responsibilities. Help them to deal with their emotions and feelings.
19. Don’t Take It Personally..!
And the final thing that you should keep in mind is that your kid has a crush that does not mean that they don’t love you or loveless. Teach them the difference between healthy relationships and the relationships that may hurt as time passes.
Emotional, physical, psychological, and social changes that your child may encounter while growing up may drive them towards crushes. Children need proper guidance and support to cope up with the feelings, desires, and maintain healthy relationships. This article presented a few tips to deal with your child’s crush by respecting their emotions.
