Why is there a difference in the way children conduct themselves? Some children bloom and a few feel left out. Is it their nature? or is it a fault in their upbringing? Over the years, many psychologists have come up with different kind of parenting styles and one among them is uninvolved parenting.
Parents who deprive their children of attention and make a mistake in their parenting roles are uninvolved parents. If the child is too sensitive and takes it personally, is going to have psychological issues and it affects the parent and child bond. If your child turns out to be strong, then you are fortunate.
This article aims at bringing forward the not so brighter side of Uninvolved Parenting and its ill effects on a child’s well being and personality, further you would get to understand how can a child get over the repercussion of being neglected or left out.
What Is Uninvolved Parenting?
Uninvolved Parenting is that kind of a parenting style where parents provide their children with basic amenities but they fail to have the personal touch with their child in terms of what is the child going through at school or at home and the parents get too involved with their personal life that the child lacks the required attention, care and support from parents which can have a negative impact or maybe a more independent impact on a child’s mind. These children are guided and nurtured less by their parents.
Read: Significant Ways To Spend More Quality Time With Your Kids
Know The Other Styles Of Parenting
Categorically, there are different ways parents bring up their children. These styles are conscious and subconscious at times, it is good to get to know them all so that parents can easily gauge their style and bring an improvement in themselves if needed.
Parenting Style No 1
The one in which parents are constantly there for their children supporting them mentally and emotionally, at the back of their mind they have expectations from their children but they do not express it, these kinds of parents are permissive. Children with this kind of upbringing open up and turn out to be happy and independent kids.
Parenting Style No 2
When parents make decisions for their children, bind them up with expectations and always bring up their children with set rules and guidelines are known to be authoritative parents. In this parenting style, the children tend to get used to their parents making decisions for them and they slowly learn how to make decisions for themselves as well and this is upbringing is well balanced where one needs not say that the parents were too lenient or too strict with their children.
Parenting Style No 3
There are certain parents who are dominating and fixed minded they tend to think that the way they are bringing up their children is the best, they do not consider their child’s point of view or feelings and they enclose their children with strict rules failing which they punish their children as well. In this kind of parenting style, the children feel suffocated and snubbed down. They miss out on learning how to make decisions for themselves and what eventually happens is that they end up being in the control of their parents and for them if they cannot fulfill their parents’ expectations they can lose on their confidence levels and can develop negative feelings like they are good for nothing. These parents are known as authoritarian parents.
All in all, getting a quick gist of all the parenting styles, every parent must see to it that they balance out the manner in which they bring up their children. As every parent wants best for their child, every parent must give the best to their child as well, so much that they do not go astray nor they feel aloof.
Characteristics Of Uninvolved Parenting And Its Effects On The Child
The crux in uninvolved parenting is the behavior of a parent = effect on the child. Take a look at some of the characteristics that clearly state and explain all about uninvolved parenting.
No 1. Self Involved Parent = Child Learns It The Hard Way
This characteristic states, uninvolved parents are engrossed in their own world thinking of what they need and how they want to accomplish their goals because of this neglectful parenting the child has no way out and learns to take charge of his/her own life and faces it the hard way.
No 2. Fails To Build The Connection = Child Is Sad
The neglectful parenting effects reveal that it is impossible for an uninvolved parent to build any kind of emotional bond with the child because they always tend to build that wall that has no room for attention and a personal touch and this would end up making the child feel lost and depressed.
No 3. Parent Has A Fancy Lifestyle = Child Feels Lost
As the parent is busy working on aims and desires the lifestyle of that parent might be the fanciest and distinctive from the others and the child is not guided which can cause damage to the fact that a child cannot have a clear understanding about life and might end up making incorrigible blunders.
No 4. Carefree Attitude = Child Lacks Understanding About Self-Worth
Uninvolved parents are usually so carefree that they do not expect anything from their children, as they do not give attention to their little ones and teach them what is good and bad in life, the child is always going to struggle through knowing his/her self worth, has no clue about what to do and what not to do because the parent is never around to pay attention to the child.
No 5. Dipsomaniac Parent = Sad Child Who Struggles Through Every Phase In Life
An uninvolved parent who does not abstain from being dipsomaniac ends up not caring for the child and these parents rely on the Nani to take care of the child. Although there is a Nani to give love and care to the child, a child always seeks it from parents and the child in this case is scuffling at every stage of life and grows up the hard way.
Read: Know the Meaningful Ways to Reconnect to Your Kid
Examples Of Uninvolved Parenting Style
Uninvolved parents are also known as neglectful parents, there are various illustrations about neglectful parents. Each one has its own way of neglecting kids. Take a look at the examples of uninvolved parenting
No 1. Parents Least Bothered About The Child’s Progress in Education
A parent who is neglectful will not pay heed to what is the child doing in school what are the activities lined up for the child to get prepared with, whether or not the child is understanding what is being taught in class, they would not bother to know what are the subjects a child likes and if the child requires any help in terms of education.
Upshot
The child can get mislead in terms of education and might not be able to express his or her problems with academics and it can quite happen that a child loses interest in studying and other activities too.
No 2. The Child Has Loads to Pour out and Parents Do Not Listen to The Child
It is the nature and attitude of neglectful parents to not give ears to what the child has to say, they would either be busy peeping into their phones or they would always be out of home either working or at a social gathering and if the child gets a chance to talk they give a cold response to the child.
Upshot
This leaves the child feeling lonely and at times may make one feel low of themselves and they might start doubting their own self if they are going wrong somewhere. It is bad for a child to develop these unpleasant thoughts about themselves.
No 3. Parents do Not Feel it Necessary to Check on The Child
One of the unfortunate examples of uninvolved parenting is when the parent just pays up for the child’s education takes the child out when needed and is around the child physically but never asks the child about how is the child doing, is the child’s health alright, what does the child want to do over the weekend, who are the child’s friends in school etc.
Upshot
The child ends up getting bored, lonely and feels sick to stay at home.
Read: How Should You Talk To Your Kids: Everything They Must Know
Causes Of Neglectful Parenting Style
No parents are insane to ignore their child for no reason, it is distinct that either the parent is going through a rough patch or the very nature of the person is like that. Let’s look at what causes parents to become so heartless with their children
- When a parent is mentally or physically ill, he or she may not be in a condition or have energy to take care of themselves. Hence, taking care of the child is out of question.
- If the parents are addicts of alcohol or drugs, half the time he or she might not be in a conscious state of mind to be able to think of the child or care for the child.
- When parents are way too ambitious and to them, money and fame are all that matters, they end up being so tied up with their schedule that it gets really tough for them to give time and attention to their child.
- Mental stress can completely drain out the psychological, mental and physical outlook of a person towards life, the person might be unemployed and stressed about how to run the show or must be disturbed in the marital life that has a direct and clear impact on their parenting style.
- When the family is too big the parents might be busy with their household chores and work that they might barely get the time to look into what is the child doing, this usually happens if the parents think that the child would be taken care of by someone else or they might feel that the child is capable of taking care of himself or herself or when the parents have a second child and they might tend to drive all their attention to the younger one forgetting that the older one is falling short of the attention.
- When a single parent is taking care of the home and has no time to look into what is the child doing because he/she is busy outside home and no considerable attention and care given to the child ends up making the child feel all the more lonely and affected.
- We are all a reflection of how we have been raised up. That said, maybe the parents were raised up in a neglectful parenting style that they understand only what they have seen in their childhood and they end up being the same parents with their children forgetting to realize that they should not be treating their child the same way.
Pro’s And Con’s Of Uninvolved Parenting
Here are pro’s and con’s of an uninvolved parenting style. Pros and cons are the law of nature and they exist in every concept. That said, a person who makes the best use of an unfavorable situation and turns it into a favorable situation knows the art of changing a disadvantage into an advantage.
Uninvolved parenting is a sad affair for the child but it is on the child on how he/she does the best or the worst having experienced it. Lookup for the advantages and disadvantages
Advantages of Uninvolved Parenting
There are more flaws in uninvolved parenting than plus points. Nothing like it if a child is able to take the painful situation in the most sportive manner.
1. A Child Can Optimally Use Freedom
An uninvolved parenting style gives a child many chances to do the best with the freedom he or she gets, a child can get involved with spending good time with friends, stay engaged with activities, stay peaceful and happy with nature and the child can feel happy about the fact that his or her freedom is the most distinctive and not everyone gets to live with it from a young age.
2. Child Gets Brave And Independent
As the child grows up with this concept of being left lonely, he or she figures out a way and understands after a certain age that he or she will have to take charge of his or her own life and move ahead with a positive approach, this would not come to the child instantly, it is a gradual process and it will take time for a child to learn this. In the end, the child will grow up to be an individual who is mentally and emotionally capable to blend in anywhere in the world. This feeling is the most empowering for a child.
3. Will Handle Life With Utmost Maturity
Difficulties are what builds a person and a child who’s seen loneliness will grow up to have a mature outlook in life and be a better person. These kind of children understand and feel qualities such as empathy and sympathy and they would always be able to help the other people who are in pain by advising them to be positive in life. They will pick up the people who are hurt.
Disadvantages Of Uninvolved Parenting
No doubt uninvolved parenting is the worst style of parenting because a child does not deserve to go through pain and suffering at such a young age that too from home as home is a child’s first world. Look at the woops of an uninvolved parenting style
1. Child Gets Bitter In Life
If a child is sensitive and cannot handle the parents giving attention to the child he or she would end up feeling miserable and carry that feeling throughout which would give the child a bitter feeling about life.
2. Child Totally Disconnects From Parents
Receiving love and attention from parents is one of the most beautiful feeling in life because they are the first ones we live with, we see and who are always there around us, if the same parents start to neglect the child, it won’t take time for the child to feel disconnected from the parents and even if those parents want to connect with their child later on, if not lucky then the child might never be able to build back that connect.
3. Can Never Be Expressive Ever After
From childhood if a child is not heard and ignored, after one point the child breaks down and stops expressing his/her feelings, isn’t it? An uninvolved parenting style leads to a person suppressing his or her feelings and then this becomes a part of that person’s nature which never dies down.
4. Child Views Life As Black And White
When a child has never got attention or love the child tends to drown into his or her world of loneliness. That said, life seems all dull and sad when the child never gets to look into the colors in life. It is not healthy for a child to experience depression and sadness at such a tender age. What happens in childhood remains a black spot life long.
5. Child Misses Out On A Lot In Life
Uninvolved parenting style comes with a risk of the child not understanding values in life, a child does not turn out to be as confident as the other kids and if uninvolved parenting has taken a toll on a child mentally then the child might not learn how to be happy as well.
Therefore, looking at the advantages and disadvantages of uninvolved parenting we can come to an understanding that it is okay if a child is given a little less comfort and luxury but parents should never compromise on giving a child the right care and attention.
Ways To Beat Neglectful Or Uninvolved Parenting – For All The Parents!
Parents should take corrective measures to get over neglectful or uninvolved parenting. It is essential that a child gets over these feeling because what is the point if a child is unhappy and getting affected in his/her own home? Home is the first place for a child and he/she should be the happiest.
For you to change your parenting style might not seem usual in the start because until now you would have been so negligent about your child that you would have got so used to being this way, it is good if you have realized and want to bring in a change in your parenting style.
Here are some of the ways to get out of the neglectful or uninvolved parenting style and correct your mistakes before it gets too late are just left with regrets that cannot be corrected.
1. Look Beyond Your World
You are getting neglectful about your child because you think the world you are pre-occupied with is the only one that exists and everything else is a dream. Wake up and change your thinking, the world you have always been in until now is a dream whereas there are other responsibilities and roles that are waiting for your attention and one of them is to attend you, child. Thus, look beyond your world and only then you will get to understand that you have to change your attitude towards your child.
2. Spend 10 Minutes A Day With Your Child
Time is all that your child needs and if you can somehow manage to give this to your child, you would not feel like you are neglecting your little one. Having said, it is important that you anyhow make ten minutes for your child and be with him/her, either talk to your child, play a game or have a meal with your child. This way can slowly help you improve the way you are taking care of your child.
3. Be Your Child’s Support System
There would be situations when your child would want to vent out to you or would want to share his or her moments of happiness with you. Do not neglect your child at that time, you can keep all your work aside for just a few minutes and listen to your child at that point of time. If you do so your child gets to feel that he or she is heard and important.
4. Display Feelings Of Affection And Love To Your Child
If you are under the impression of have heard from other parents that pampering the child and showing them too much love spoils them, then you are wrong, they deserve the basic love from their parents and you are ought to give it to them. Hug and kiss your baby, give him or her that personal touch by pacifying him or her when he or she is sad, appreciate him or her when he or she has done a great job. Express love to your child, give love in such a way that it does not spoil your child but makes your child happy and at the same time lead your child to the right path. Do not let your child go away from you while he or she is with you.
5. Focus On The Right Upbringing
If you have been neglecting your child all this while and have not looked into teaching your child and monitoring how’s he or she doing, hurry up and be there for your child. If you have created that gap, it will take some time or you to get your child listening to you but over time things should be fine.
Teach your child to be confident and have his or her head up, show him or her the right directions, fill his or her mind with the right values and morals. You can do all this only when you pay attention to what is your child doing.
6. Sort Out All Your Issues
If you are alcoholic, unemployed or abused, it is an unfortunate situation. No doubt in the fact that you are having your own stress to deal with but think of this, had your parents treated you the same way when they had problems and you were a child, what kind of an impact would that have on your life today. The same with your child, keep aside your issues when it comes to being a parent. Do not make your child a victim of your pain.
In the final analysis, neglectful parenting always has an unhealthy impact on a family. Your child goes away from you and your united family can fall apart. Considering what causes a parent to get neglectful and its dark effects on the mental well being of a child, every parent should take precautions and be there with their children otherwise the child’s life goes for a toss and that is not a good sign of parenting.
Somewhere, one of the parent is uninvolved with the child and sometimes both the parents are uninvolved. For a child it is more painful if a mother is uninvolved or when it is a single parent. Do not let your concerns hit on your child, make the best efforts to keep your child away from all the mental disturbance when he or she is young because this can leave him or her depressed.
Follow the right parenting style!
