Even with two competent parents raising a child is not easy, but when you are raising a child as a single parent the entire dynamics become too challenging. And more critical for a single mom raising son. Going through a divorce or separating from your partner when your son is a teenager is a very painful and trying time.
As a single mom raising teenage son you have to wear many more hats and take these responsibilities in utmost earnest ways. To help the little boy turn out into a mature and wonderful adult. All the challenges you may have faced as a single parent must not cause any harm to the child.
The agony of not having a male to talk to or coach can be harassing for teenage boys.
Tips for a Single Mother Raising Son :
It is never easy when you have all the negative feelings within you for the partner you left or left you. You have to raise your son keeping all the struggles and arrogance you have towards your ex as hidden as possible. Some tips to help single mom raising boys:
1. Don’t try to become the father:
You must not try and become the father of the child, and expect to coach him the way a dad would. You have your own special place and all you can do to cover the gap of a man in your life is by just being happy and organizing everything ahead in time. You don’t have to act like a father, just be what as a parent you would do in a situation.
2. Even if you have read psychology there’s nothing that can intuit how your teenager son feels:
Let go the things you don’t understand and stop inquiring, again and again, a teenager boy needs his space and methods to vent it out. No matter how understanding you are you still can’t figure out all the concerns your son has.
3. Help him find someone he is comfortable to talk to:
It is very important to find that someone in your son’s life with whom he is most comfortable and can share his feelings with. Your strong negative emotions on male, in general, making your anger and disappointment prominent does not help your young son. Just be calm and keep them all within you. The son may undergo an identity crisis as you constantly crib about all men. Boys in single mothers household may have difficulty in becoming the man they want to be. So find a positive role model man around and inspire your boy to grow up like him
4. Have the boundaries set:
You need not be a rebel mom and kill it after when they return home late or smell of beer. When you set clear boundaries and give them controlled independence they become more responsible. Stop worrying about their whereabouts all the time and allow them to be independent.
There must be consequences for every breach which is high in order but for smaller incidents learn to rise above and give your son the charge
5. Don’t expect your teenager son to play the role on man of the household:
He is not the man of your household and doesn’t overload him with responsibilities to play an active man’s role yet. He is still beginning to explore himself and the world around. Allow him to learn the do it yourself skills and be a supportive parent
6. Don’t trash talk about his father:
Do answer everything in utmost true ways if possible. But never trash talks about your ex. You never know what hurts your child or drifts him away from men around. Don’t begin any interaction which relates to your ex, and if asked questions just give a brief reply in a matter of factly manner.
7. Give them responsibilities to develop their manly skills:
Be a guide and give them responsibilities to take care of themselves. Travel alone and learn basic life skills. The teenager must be responsible for most of his own work and also participate in household work too.
8. Be more active when it comes to teaching daily activities men do:
Beginning from early age try and keep all the stuff men do at home. Let the son see a shaving basket and get potty trained in a manly way. The more you fill up these not-having-a-men-around gaps the easier it will be for your son to grow normally. There is nothing like homosexuality when raising a son alone, but having all the basics of what men do around gives your child more freedom to be himself.
9. Find him an indoor outlet:
Venting out emotions is very important for everyone. Guys have a different way than girls mostly. So have something manly set up in your house for your little boy to grow up venting out the right way. A trampoline, basketball, gloves and punch bag and more weights from the gym are ideal for venting out in a very healthy and positive way
10. Demonstrate positive traits in men:
Teenagers may not notice until you show them. Forget what happened with you and give a broader picture to your son about how men are and how they should be. Never try and compare him to his father, or make him feel low about him. This is important to keep up his self esteem and manly ways.
11. Give him space:
How women emote and feel is totally different than how men behave. They should get a room or space to behave their own way. Don’t show yourself vulnerable and make them too sensitive. Allow them to be like normal boys. This will help him overcome the gaps around his life
Though it may not be simple try to have an empathetic relationship with his father, where he gets to meet him sometimes and spend time off from home too. Don’t try to steal his place from your son’s life, rather carve your own special place.
The above compilation on Top 11 tips for a single mom raising teenage son is to help all mother and teenage son to get along well and overcome their individual arrogance to make better individuals. There is always a much simpler way above all the difficulties you see around, be sure to rise above and find it for your son. You have to take charge of making him a better adult and a happy individual.
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