Having conceived in itself is a great feeling. All the joys of being a mother and raising a child in ways you deem fit are simply pleasing and exciting. But for someone who had a prenatal loss of miscarriage things become tough and disheartening. No one can get over a loss of beloved, and even while you were just carrying it; you began dreaming of your child and your life around him/ her. We all feel sorry for someone close who has suffered a miscarriage. Moms who have miscarried their babies are undergoing severe mental trauma and they need care from everyone around. Specially beware of what not to say to someone who had a miscarriage
10 Things not to say to a Woman who has had Miscarriage:
Most cases, a woman who has undergone a miscarriage has to suffer even from friend and family. Her loss is traumatic and amid the same, if a close aid says anything painful it becomes even worse. Here are 10 things you should never say to a woman who’s had a miscarriage:
1. Don’t Worry this was Destiny:
No, this was never the plan and cursing destiny aggravates the loss. Why is there a need to even talk about destiny when the loss was sudden and traumatic? There can be no good out of the loss and blaming destiny does not help the parents or does not do their pain any lesser. Try never to speak about destiny and luck in this situation
2. Thankfully you had a Miscarriage Earlier in your Pregnancy:
Miscarriage even at 2-3 months is the same as losing the child. Parents began dreaming of their child and suddenly things became vague and critical. Despite the fact that you miscarried even before the heartbeat was felt, a loss is still very much disheartening. And no one wants to hear this as it won’t reduce the suffering in the first place. There may be some relief in terms you did not have to be admitted to a hospital or over the counter drugs to relieve but the mental trauma stays almost the same.
3. Don’t Worry you Can Get Pregnant Again:
The woman need not know this at least. Her fears and pain are far too harsh and giving this only aggravates the situation. Miscarriage is mental as well as physical loss of a part of a woman which was full of life and brought expectations for everyone. Being pregnant again can never overcome the loss suffered prior to that. Maybe speaking about pregnancy makes the woman afraid of again undergoing a similar trauma
4. I Didn’t Know You Were Trying to Get Pregnant:
This is the last thing a woman who suffered pregnancy has to hear. How does it matter now, and having you aware would not have changed the fate any which way. Never judge or analyze the life choices of a woman and that too when there are grief and pain all around
5. I Know a Friend Who Had 4 Miscarriages You Just Had 1 Don’t Worry:
How the hell does it matter as its not a competition on who’s life sucks more. The woman had been through the most challenging times and she needs to put herself together rather than thinking of more of such cases and the sorrows of other parents.
6. It Was Not a Baby but Just a Fetus:
Well for those who dare to say this, there is nothing but face-palm. Even if that was a fetus in medical terms, the mother had dreamt a life ahead. Raising the child, holding the child and cuddling the child too. Saying the loss just a fetus does not do any good, rather it adds to the pain and suffering
7. You Miscarried Because you Ate or Drank that or you did not Consume this things:
This is the most ridiculous thing to tell someone suffered this huge loss recently. You are no one to judge and now when the loss had already occurred, stop blaming the woman who has had it all. Putting the blame on the mother and cursing her choices or being judgmental would only cause more grief and sorrow.
8. At Least Now You Can Drink:
How can be able to drink heal the miscarriage and loss? The woman has just undergone a severe situation. Her trauma and the mental situation do not need to know whether alcohol or anything can be consumed or not. Having a baby was way more than a glass of booze and this unnecessary humor can aggravate her pain further
9. It is Better than to have a Baby with Problems:
How can you be assured that the baby which was miscarried could have any problem? You are not a doctor and don’t try to be one. The loss just needs sympathy and not judgments from anyone
10. This Means your Eggs are not Strong and your Body is not Ready Yet:
This is seriously more painful for that woman. How can you say this when you don’t even know the cause of the miscarriage. Blaming the woman and her reproductive situation is bad. This causes more tension and pain to the woman who just suffered the big loss
The above compilation on 10 things you should never say to a woman who’s had a miscarriage is to share how saying a few of these things can cause more grief and sorrow to the already suffering parent. Try to comfort them rather than causing them more pain by saying such careless statements.
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