Have there been situations where you have nearly wanted to spank your kid? As a first-time parent, you just have a lot of such challenges all throughout. Clearly, the majority of parents think about spanking children in anger or frustration. There are different versions to spanking that the parents define but “Spanking” means to strike on the buttocks with an open hand”
I would like to share a recent incident that took place when I was in a shopping mall. Right in front of me was two siblings fighting, snatching and playing around. Me, as a spectator, found it super cute and enjoyed observing them. Meanwhile, one of them gave a loud shriek for being hurt. The mother turned around to see the elder one messing with the other. Her frustration levels literally showed up on her face. She immediately got hold of him and gave him a firm spank on his back and snapped at the child saying “HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO BEHAVE? DO NOT GO NEAR ANNA NOW”. The boy looked scared and was in tears, with his one hand behind shuffling on his bottom. The mother just ignored and continued her shopping. How I wish, I could have just hugged the little one and said it’s okay! I agree it was easy for me to say without having an understanding of what pushed the mother to this breaking point. How many warnings or wrangling moments she would have had before this. But, still, hitting the little is the right thing to do?
There are parents who argue that spanking isn’t really hitting a child, but, just normal form to discipline the kids! But, hitting is hitting – isn’t it? A clear mode of violence. Don’t you think? What do you think does the kid learn out of this spank he might or might not have deserved? Parents proudly say that his misbehavior caused them to spank him, but have you thought about the reverse?
Is it Okay to Spank the Child Once a While?
Clearly, every 4 in 5 American parents believe that it is sometimes fair enough to spank a child. But the stats show that the younger generation parents think that it is not appropriate to spank. Which means the further generations will have lesser acceptance to spanking? But yet again, there is still a wide range of kids despite parent’s generation being spanked. Imagine you see your children spank one another to just teach a lesson?
Nevertheless, there is a strong consensus to the question “should you spank your child?” in the mental health community that spanking could cause harm to the child. Parents who do not believe that there are other alternatives to punish their child for misbehaving other than spanking will never ever understand. They surely need some support and education for both increasing ways to teach their kids to behave and have alternatives to corporal punishments (R). As well as, understand what it causes to their kids.
What Happens When Parents Spank Kids?
A research found out that spanking is associated with more than dozens of negative outcomes. Not only will it harm the relationship between a parent and a child, but also that the child learns to be violent. It can induce depression in a child, anti-social behavior and increased in aggressiveness. Such kids have lower self-esteem and in long-term, such adults who were spanked in their childhood also indulge in a lot of corporal punishments with their own children.
Not only the mental part, but you could also end up hurting the kid physically too. Spanking children under the age of 18 months increases the chance of physical injury in them. They very soon learn that spanking is a solution to a conflict and that physical force is an acceptable method of problem-solving.
Things You Could Do Instead of Spanking
Spanking your kids should never come into your mind as a solution to teach them discipline. Below are some ways to help you avoid children spank.
1. Get Calm:
First, try and control your anger and leave the situation if you can to kill your urge to spank or slap your child. Get easy with your mood and give yourself some time. A lot of parents lose it because of a lot of stress usually. If you can’t leave the situation, then take a step back and try to count until 10 and ease out.
2. Take Some Me-Time:
Parents are more prone to spanking when they have not had time for themselves. Parents could feel hurried and agitated if they do not take their time for themselves to exercise their routine (workout, read, walk or pray)
3. Give Choices:
Giving your child choice is a great way to make them independent and involve lesser in their activities. This makes it easier for the parent and the kid to understand.
4. Use Logical Consequences:
Make the kid understand the consequences of their action. For example, “I see you have broken the box, what will you do to repair it?” using a kind but a firm voice tone. The child knows in this case that he has done a mistake and is irreparable and damaged by him. This way he learns not to do it again and the kids’ self-esteem is not hampered.
5. Do Make-Ups:
If you get angry and ever punish your kid severely, remember there is a way to patch up here. You can pull yourself back and get the respect back by apologizing to the kid and letting them know you feel betrayed or angry because of the situation and that you are bothered about their well-being.
Aggression at its place is okay but showing it to the kid in a negative way makes it worse. There are ways to win over the kid’s misbehaviour without letting him lose his self-esteem or the parent losing their respect. Ask you0rself – why you should spank your child? There are much more alternatives here to support your child in a better way and learn the art of parenting.
