As a parent, it is important for you to be sure that your child is comfortable and happy with your method of upbringing. That said, no denying in the fact that parents have to put their foot down at times when children are going astray. However, it is not right if you are turning into a pressurizing parent, as it is never easy on the receiving end.
According to one of the studies made by NCBI – There was a survey conducted to clearly show the effects of parental pressure on kids with regards to them being picky or non-picky eaters. In the end, it resulted in kids with parental pressure turning out to be picky eaters while the kids who did not have pressure were non-picky eaters. Thus, it is an indication to parents that parental pressure would never do any good to children.
Read through this article to understand what is parental pressure, the negative effects of parental pressure on kids and how to stop pressurizing your children. If you are too harsh on your child, stop being a tough parent before it takes a toll on your kid
[Read: 10 Habits To Follow For Healthy Family]
What Is Parental Pressure On Child
When parents are being forceful and too stringent with children in terms of academics, disciplining the child or in other spheres of life, it can put off a kid if he/she starts to get suffocated in the cage of fulfilling parents expectations.
That said, you might want to do it for your child to succeed in life. However, it is not justified to put your child through pressure because your child has his/her own pace of catching up with things. It is understandable that you might have experienced the pressure from your parents and you might be finding it to be the right approach towards your child too. That’s never how it works!
No parents intend to wrong their children. Yet, parents have the tendency to make mistakes while bringing up kids. Ask yourself or take a moment to reflect on how are you with your child. Are you doing justice to no being a pressurizing parent?
Yes, it is natural and relatable that when your child is a baby you know better about what will suit your child and not. Yet, you have to be tactful in the way you deal with saying no or expecting your child to learn the right things. Instead of being a parent who always wants the child to follow instructions, be a parent who can instruct as well as explain to the child about the good in following that instruction. Your child needs your friendship more than wanting a rigid mother and father.
It is perfectly right to guide your kid. But, the pressurizing method won’t work for long!
[Read: Significant Ways To Spend More Quality Time With Your Kids]
Effects Of Parental Pressure On A Child To Succeed
When you as a parent put pressure on your child, you are not just making your child unhappy but you will notice that you are fighting within yourself and the people around you as well.
Take a look at what happens to your child when you pressurize him/her way too much
No 1. Your Child’s Self Esteem Goes Down
It is essential that your child’s self-esteem is in place. The reason being, it never takes long for a person to feel like zero if he/she loses self-esteem. While you want your child to succeed he/she might feel like a failure. You don’t want that for your child because even you know of its impact on your child’s well-being.
No 2. Your Child Distances From You
No one like pressure, you would not like it yourself. That said, if you do not give your child space and make him or her feel unhappy by putting too much pressure, you might lose that deep connection with your child. If you do not want your child to go away from you then never pressurize him/her.
No 3. Your Child Falls Ill
When your child’s mind is not at ease, it is sure to have an impact on the body. When a child feels pressurized, one kind of fear creeps in his/her mind and that causes further issues making your child feel anxious. Signs of anxiousness are depression, headache, nausea, and breathlessness. Do not be a monster with your child!
No 4. Your Child Loses Out On His/Her Charm
Your child might turn aggressive and negative if you push him/her too much. Do you want your child to get sad? Sadly, pressure from parents makes kids less energetic and isolated. They don’t feel interested in doing stuff that they love doing because they get too deprived and feel suppressed.
[Read: What is your Parenting Style]
No 5. Your Child Might Go Against You
If your child is small, he/she would still blend in and get molded to the pressure. However, if you are dealing with teenage kids then you should never make the mistake of being a pressurizing parent because it can have a terrible effect on your child.
Your child might get against you and start to feel like you don’t care and dislike him/her. The chances of slipping into wrong habits are the highest if you hold your child and put too much pressure. Your child might be so frustrated that he/she might want to do what you don’t want him/her to do.
No 6. Your Chid Will Not Be Honest With You
When you suppress and hold your child too much, he/she might want to release from the clinges. Your child might start lying to you if needed because of the pressure he/she feels.
Your child would be genuine with you only if you give him/her that comfort level to open up to you and speak the truth.
Example – You might pressurize your child to get good scores in academics and your child might end up faking those scores or manipulating them to you just because you would have never given your child that liberty to be able to talk about his/her failures because of your pressure.
No 7. Your Child Does Not Get To Explore
At some point, you as a parent must let your child explore his/her own capabilities. If you are someone who is after your child to do what you want him/her to do, you are limiting the child to get exposed to various other experiences. Do not do this to your child, you have a say in his/her life but not to an extent that he/she gets restricted in a cocoon.
No 8. Individuality Is Lost
When you are always after your child pressurizing him/her. Don’t you think your child loses out on a chance to feel independent and think for himself/herself? You may want your child to do a master’s in Science and for all, you know your child might be interested in joining a film school. Thus, do not directly or indirectly be a reason for your child to lose out on a chance to be what he/she wants to be.
In a nutshell, parental pressure has dangerous effects on children. A few children voice out and talk for themselves and a few of them get suppressed and compromise by being unhappy.
How to Stop Parental Pressure
Parental pressure is unfair on children because it stops them from being who they want to be and puts them through a lot for their age. A child always looks up to parents to find happiness and pressurizing them can be a good reason for everything to get ruined. That said, if you want your child to be happy and connected to you then you should put an end to this habit of pressurizing your child.
Ways to put parental pressure to an end once and for all. Look at the points below
No 1. Self Questioning And Making Observations Work
Your conscience is your best judge, ask yourself if you have been good enough and never put any pressure on your child. Step out of a mom or dad zone and think from your child’s perspective too. You will get to know if you are being too hard on your child. Even better, you can have a chat with your child and get to know if he/she feels that way.
No 2. Pat Your Child’s Back
If you truly intend to see your child succeed, replace pressurizing your child and become your child’s source of strength. You would see the happiness in your child’s face to receive a positive push from parents and what pressure could never do a good pat on your child’s back will do it all. That being said, see what best you can do in a positive way to encourage your child instead of being harsh.
No 3. Understand Your Child’s Capabilities
As a parent you know your child the best, think of this, how does it matter if your child scores 90 today and scores 70 later, as long as he/she is trying. Parental pressure will get the child nowhere, it would worsen and spoil situations. That said, do not expect beyond your child’s capabilities. Instead of pressurizing, be kind and try to understand if your child needs help.
No 4. Assess Your Child’s Areas Of Interest And Disinterest
The results achieved after forcing your child would never give you complete satisfaction because what if it is not what your child loved or if your child did it in pressure? Would that get you true happiness?
Always be aware and sensitive about your child’s interests and disinterests before you decide on pressurizing your child. It is of no use to get results out of pressure.
No 5. Draw A Thin Line Between Being Strict And Pressurizing
If you are trying to correct your child and getting him/her on track it is right on your part to be strict because discipline is equally important. On the other hand, you cannot push your child to do what you want him/her to do. You as parents are just a guide to your child.
[Read: Importance Of Teaching Tolerance To Kids And How]
No 6. Practice To Expect From Yourself
You might not realize but expecting from your child is too much you are asking for and this is not because your child is not capable but putting your expectations forward without considering what your child wants is no fairness. If you really want to stop parental pressure, start focusing on what better can you do as an individual for yourself.
No 7. Never Throw Frustration On Your Child
We all have this bad habit of removing our frustration on the people who are innocent and not at fault whereas we must practice to discuss our problems with the person who is the reason for our frustration. Introspect on your behavior and if you are pressurizing your child just because you have been treated badly then you need to change this habit immediately because it is not a healthy sign and can hamper your relationship with your child. Sort your issues and try to find ways to keep calm.
No 8. Be Your Child’s Friend
Say suppose you have pressurized your child and you understand from his/her body language and attitude that your pressure is upsetting. Whenever you understand it, try and turn it into a positive aspect, ask your child what he or she wants if not what you were insisting on.
If it is not going to do any harm to your child then why not be a friend and support your child with it. This is one sort of encouragement and at the same time, it boosts the confidence in your child that my parents are understanding what I want. It is the most relieving feeling for a child.
No 9. Make Your Child’s Life Easier
If you are not able to get away our for your child with pressure then you got to try cutting down on your expectations and making it convenient for your child. Do not ask for loads from your child, limit your expectations, get what you want but do not ask for it with pressure, give your child time to process and reach up to your expectations.
Let your child know that in life it is necessary to look for up to the sky and that is what you are trying to do. Let your child know that you are doing it for his/her betterment because someday your child will get it.
No 10. Leave It On Time To Take Its Form
Maybe you are pressurizing your child in the right way and not being too harsh but your child thinks of it to be too much to take. What should you do in this case? You will do nothing but stay calm and let go of what you are holding onto.
Maybe you want your child to complete a course and he/she is not willing despite trying sweet ways to convince your child. It is disappointing no doubt, but maybe time shall take care of things and your child might choose to do something better. Thus, let it go if being sweet and explaining to your child is also not working out.
No 11. Get Good Parenting Advice
If your intention is to stop pressurizing your child and for some reason if you are unable to do anything about it, then you can go for counseling or talk to your parents or friends who have a better way of dealing with kids. It is okay and in fact a mature step to take when you need to do the right thing.
Final Word
Parental pressure on kids is not a positive sign of parenting because it spoils the peace between a parent and child relationship.
If parents think pressurizing the child will help them be bolder than what they are then it is a wrong notion because if your child cannot handle it, it will have negative effects such as suppressing your child, making your child feel unhappy and your child might turn against you.
Parents must not step back from correcting children, being strict with them when it is required and making plans for their success and achievements. However, parents must not forget that they cannot force upon their children because be it a kid or an adult, everyone needs breathing space and likes to be as happy as a free bird.
