Who doesn’t want a child who truly cares about others! Teaching kids’ empathy is like raising a compassionate kid. But we know that kids do not have cognitive skills to appreciate the concept of empathy until they turn 8 or 9 years old. But the younger kids of 5 years or lesser are more bothered about being treated along with their elder siblings and living in their fantasy world of perfect characters.
So, how to teach kids empathy? It is never too early to focus on empathy for kids at home or outside. There are few ways to nurture these budding little ones.
Initially when kids are young, they show high levels of affection and demonstrate some degree of empathic concern but more of a limited one and struggle with some type of perspective-taking. As they get older, their perspective skills improve and they start taking opportunities to practice them in real life.
Kids also start learning social norms about when and how to demonstrate empathic concerns. The children in turn learn about their emotional behavior and responses.
Ways of Teaching Empathy to kids:
1. Teach the kids Emotions: Your little one can’t empathize with others unless they know what emotions are and how to put words into emotions to express. As a parent, keep expressing yourself and also talk to them about their emotions that they show. For example say “I can see that you are disappointed that mommy did not take you to the park to play”. “Mom was helpless and anxious the moment the car did not start.” Kids do not hear emotions at the beginning but later, they learn to deal with it and grow in it. Share your emotions with your kids and help them observe the distress in others too.
2. Do things Together while watching TV or Reading Book: The simplest book with characters that your kid reads could help them to learn to empathize. Do not just read books, but feel it too by discussing about the character and their feeling as the story progresses. The excellence at teaching empathy is by putting yourself into their shoes to believe. Also while watching TV, you could point out the various incidences happening and explain your kids for example “look at that, he feels so sad when he did not see his friend first. Now that he has them, wonder what he is thinking.”
3. Discuss what Everyone feels after a Dispute: While your child is upset with you or hitting the sibling, you must discuss with the kid separately once they calm down. A great way to guide kids to figure out their feeling and emotions during that time is to converse. Help them to figure out how to express their feelings in such situations in a more acceptable and adaptive way.
4. Respect for Those who Seem Different: The kids are naturally awestruck to the ones who are different. Toddlers usually ask out loud sharing their curiosity about a person on a wheelchair or a crippled walking with crutches. Do not shush them when the kid shows their curiosity about the disabled people. As an elder you must make friends with the person and let your kid see that and show him that the disabled person is pretty much the same. You must teach your kid to empathize with such people and help them in all means whenever possible.
5. Be an Example: It is great to be a role model. Even if you indulge into arguments in front of your kids, ensure you make up in front of them too. They learn that it is okay to be upset but we must understand and patch it up too. In case you cannot control your tone, be sure to wait until the kids are not near you. But, yes, if the kid never sees you resolving a conflict, they never learn to do it in their own relationship too. Tell them the importance of understanding the other party’s emotion and state of mind or perspective too to resolve a fight.
6. Respect for those Who can’t Speak for Themselves: Children often exhibit empathy towards the babies who naturally draw out empathy to ensure to be taken care by the elders. The most common way to help kids is to make sure to discuss and wonder aloud with your little one what the baby or the pets may be feeling.
7. Write Thank-You Notes: Instead of choosing a gift for the friend, ask your kids to draw something with a thank you note to their loved ones. Won’t that be a perfect way to teach them to give thanks to others but also personalize the gift and make it special? Help kids to write a note to help them express their feelings.
8. Enhance their Emotional Vocabulary: Whenever you have a feeling express it with your kids. Happy, sad, angry, furious, mad etc. are some expressions that you could show to your kid and explain the difference. Let them make flash cards with a smiling face or a sad face etc. by cutting out pictures from the magazine and gluing them to the index cards. Add on more emotions once your kids understand the basics like – surprise, shyness, confusion, irritation etc. Teach them body language –folding hands near chest close is when you are protective of yourself in an argument or defensive in nature. Encourage your child to name the emotions of the different characters.
9. Praise Each other Daily: Mealtimes are the best opportunity for emotional expression. Take the opportunity to have meals together with all the members of the family on the dining table. Speak about all the good things happened over the day to appreciate each other’s efforts. Let your kids know what your contribution was too and make them realize your efforts.
10. Do not Over Do It: Yes, it is good to be thankful, apologize or praise someone. But doing anything over could just make the person in front of you feel you do not mean it. Teaching child empathy doesn’t mean over praising. Over praising could be a distraction. And also kids would start expecting the same from others too – which is not going to happen in most of the cases.
