It might look like just yesterday when you used to read those bedtime stories and give goodnight kisses to your little one. And now, before you would even realize, she has grown into a woman and it is time you must talk to her about puberty.
Growing up has its own challenges. As she grows, she is bound to develop curiosity about the physical and emotional changes of puberty. Talking about bodies, puberty, and sex doesn’t have to be stressful for a parent. If she starts to develop curiosity about her body even before attaining puberty, you must encourage her to ask questions and start a healthy conversation on how much she knows and what she must know for her age.
Puberty in girls is a time of massive change when they begin the transition from a kid to an adult, and it is imperative that we support and teach them to shape them for the next step in their lives – it is the time to go into details and welcome their step towards womanhood. As a mother, you might remember your time of puberty, and you could share it with your daughter about all those you faced and had doubts. Everyone learns, but the source and trust matters.
For me, my mother made it as simple as possible with the opening statement of “Every woman goes through this, and it is a good thing! There is nothing to worry”. There are few simple ways you can talk to your daughter about puberty that we have explained here to make it easier for you:
Talking To Your Daughter About Puberty
1. Having ‘The Talk’:
Parents need to talk to their children about their changing body. While it’ might be great to talk to the daughters about puberty, remember it cannot be all in just one chat or lecture! We suggest the parent must talk with their daughters once she is 8 years old. The best way to go about it is via a series of frank discussions. The kid might seem quite young for a serious discussion, but the girls today hit puberty earlier than ever before. The early bloomers might already need to wear training bras at this age. Agree that the conversations with your girl about puberty do not have to be detailed at the start.
It can just be a casual opening up the channels of communication and forming a base of trust for the future discussion to make it less awkward and more comfortable. You are also establishing a safe and trustworthy channel for your daughter to come back to your openly when she has doubts and problems. Another good tip here is to talk about what puberty was like for you when you were growing up. If she has any concerns or questions that you cannot answer, it is good to see her doctor and let them provide the information and reassurance.
2. Prepare her for the periods:
It might be frightening for the girls who are unaware of their impending period to have a sight of blood and especially the location of blood. The common age for periods in girls is 12 or 13 years old; others get it as early as 9 years of age or some as late as even 16 years of age. Talk openly about mensuration and what happens when she gets her first periods. Speak and teach them about the sanitary protection and hygiene. It is good for your daughter to have as much knowledge as possible before her first periods arrive. Also, encourage your girl to come to you when they have doubts and when it is happening.
3. Prepare a period pack:
Teach your girl how to use the sanitary product and let them carry along in their school bag. In case she gets her period while out, she knows what needs to be done. A good opportunity to talk to your daughter about the various products (like pads, tampons, liners etc.) can be used and when. It becomes your primary responsibility to make her feel confident about what is happening in her.
4. Tell her it is okay to be active and try new things:
She must know that she can lead a normal life during those days of her mensuration but you must not force your daughter to do or try anything everything. The body mechanism in itself is great and for many things: playing sports, dancing, laughing, standing, thinking, learning and more. Encourage your daughter to keep active and leading a normal routine rather than focusing on her weight.
5. Healthy Habit:
Ask the kid to adopt a healthy eating habit and get enough sleep too. Girls must eat three regular meals and healthy snacks in between to keep up the energy. Especially fruits, vegetables and milk etc. must be a part of her diet.
6. Sex and Sexuality:
Help your daughter to respect and accept herself and her body. You must talk about sex by giving her the context of a loving, caring and a healthy relationship. Kids learn about sex from the very early ages from a lot of sources. We must focus on teaching them that sex is a healthy practice. Talk about the importance of sharing it with someone who she knows well, cares for and respects her when she is older, rather than speaking just plain about the act of sex.
7. Boost her self-esteem:
During puberty, a girl can go low on her self-esteem. Her continually changing body can make her feel embarrassed and self-conscious. As a parent, you can help her by helping her accept her looks and complimenting her to make her feel good about herself. A confident girl who will be able to handle more significant changes with considerable ease. Offer reassurance that there is a huge variation in girls for the timing of this milestone of womanhood like developing breasts or get their periods.
8. Practical sessions:
Many girls are keen on practical matters such as when to wear a bra, how to find it and know it’s fit. Most girls also wonder what would they do if they have their first periods when in school. Your daughter will like it if you give her concrete answers and knowledge, such as taking a correct measurement for a bra or some sanitary napkins that she can keep handy in her backpack or locker.
9. Basic Hygiene:
Puberty brings in a few associated surprises that you may remember from your experience. Your girl is not a kid anymore. It is the time to introduce her to basic hygiene like a deodorant as her sweat glands become more active. Active oil glands and hormones may also (as it happens in several cases) lead to a breakout, particularly on the face or the back. Introduce your girl to a gentle face wash she might want to use. Talking about hygiene down below is very important too. Maybe a little awkward, but you may want to insist and remind her the need to keep everything clean to avoid infection.
10. Teach the correct term:
Teach them the proper names for the body parts and its use or function like “vulva”, “vagina”, “pelvic region”, “bladder” etc.. Tell them that girls and boys have different parts. Teach them about the “good touch”, and “bad touch” (preferably early in their life) with examples like – good touch could be a hug or a pat on the back, but a bad touch is the area of the body which is covered by the swimsuit.
11. Talk to them about STIs and Pregnancy:
It is crucial for a girl to know the risks of being associated with sex even before she has her first menstrual cycle. This is because science has proven that a girl can get pregnant even before the first periods as the egg is released prior to the first month bleeding. She surely does not need a lot of details at this age but must know the risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infection (STI) and, even when you use a condom.
We understand that in many cases, you might not be very comfortable having a conversation about puberty with your child, but when you prepare yourself for what you want to say first, it goes well. You can as well ask your doctor for advice and tips.
Make a point that, it’s essential to talk about puberty to your children with the sensitivity associated with it. You must be as open and frank as possible so that your daughter will be better prepared for the changes in future. Yes, you will have to be age appropriate so that you do not feed her with information at one time.
Let us know how it went for you and your daughter and if this article helped, we love to hear from you. Keep reading and sharing.
