How to Be Friends with a Child Who Has Autism

Autism is a complex neurobehavioral condition which impairs social interaction and language development and communication skills. And it is a rigid repetitive behavior which makes it worse. Here we will see how to be friends with a child who has autism.

There was a recent incident when my neighbor learned that her child is autistic. She went into a complete denial mode as a parent having her first child. Surely she knew that something was not right with him. Undoubtedly, she was pretty optimistic and questioned her parenting technique. If been told or advised by the other parents, she would snap that he just needs some more time and the kid is a slow learner. My take here would be to accept your child and work to make the world beautiful for him by giving him the right support. Do not blind yourself to the child’s disorder to prove the world that he is normal and that all he needs is more time.

It can be challenging for an autistic child to make friends. Autistic children seem to live in their own world. As a parent, you will be worried but you can’t just make friends for your kid, right? Hence, let’s see how the behavioral conditions differ in an autistic kid and the ways in which parents can help the child to make some friends and lead a healthy happy life ahead.

1. Note How Responsive to Emotions the Child is:

Yes, autism characterizes lack of emotions in some children with some or literally no facial expressions and rare expressive gestures, along with the vocal inflection. You may know it the moment they do not react at all to most of the situations which might evoke emotions in a normal child. Thus it becomes further difficult for the child to survive and connect with others in a social world. The mother is certainly ought to feel lost and miserable as the child does not bond with the mother since the very early stage of a child’s life. Soon the enthusiasm of motherhood replaces with sorrow and frustration. This is exactly where, as a parent we need to hold ourselves and resort to different techniques in teaching the child how to express.

• Show your child different expressions and actions to get surprised or feel sad or to be happy. Change your facial expressions to tell the child how it is done. Make the child practice this in front of the mirror.
• Another way is to use photographs and teach the child the meaning of the facial expressions. You can start from the very basics like happy, angry, sad, surprise, and thinking.
• Teach your child how body language plays an important role in facial expressions. Many emotions are revealed by body positions like – folding the arms crossing the chest usually means on guard and is attentive to something.
• Teach your child to look into the eyes while speaking to others. It builds up confidence and grabs attention. Also if a person is angry or hiding something, you can make out the way he would look away and not into the eyes directly. Although the child must also be taught to not look intensely deep into the eyes to read the facial expressions as it might get awkward too.
• Show some movies where he could recognize the facial expressions and learn more.
• There are online tests as well which the child can indulge in doing to improvise.

It will be easier for the child to connect to the people after learning the art of facial expression and body language.

2. Know Your Child’s Uniqueness and Enhance the Skills.

Autism is a spectrum disorder and might affect the child differently. There may be instances where you might just feel that you aren’t doing enough to teach and while you try to act and show things, you feel there is an inapprehensive viewer in front of you. Do not get disheartened. An autistic child might want to play alone and might do a repetitive activity over the day which could turn annoying. But you, as a parent cannot stop caring, can you? You need a unique plan to let your child develop.

• There are preschools and schools for autistic kids. Get your child into one and let him lead a social life too. Do not overburden yourself thinking how the child might behave in a group or what would happen if they do not accept your child. Let go-off the negative thoughts and do not take your child for granted. It will take a lot of time and effort to make him build friends and honestly, it will be worth only if you give enough time and show some patience.
• If the child loves to scribble, doesn’t mean that you send the child to an art and craft class. He might not enjoy the noisy environment and may be sensitive to touch and light. Let him be comfortable at his own happy place and see if he enjoys one more company with him scribbling at the same place. That might not look like a constructive thing to you but if he is sharing the place, know that he is getting used to people around him and interacting.
• Do not ever compare him to your own kid days! Keep him at his happy pace and place, along with his interest as compared to yours.

3. Party and Fun Games at Home

Focus on the quality of the friendship rather than the quantity. If your child has one friend, celebrate it as it will grow stronger and become meaningful each time they meet. Let him go at his own pace and peace out with his happiness.

• Teach your child that friendship is very important and it brings happiness and fun.
• Do not compare your child with any friend’s child even in your mind. That will only bring a sense of no accomplishment and irritation.
• Decide with your child what he would love to play when the friends come home for a party. Build some constructive activities which include cooperation and communication like Lego construction, puzzle games, car racing or making a craft with paper or clay.
• Regularize the play dates, take your time off to see and observe the child’s activities with his friends. Take a note of it and see how you can work further on those bits.
• Do not panic if you see your child suddenly separates and plays in isolation. The child might need some time off and find it overwhelming. Intervene only after about some 15 minutes to get the child and his friends back to play together.
• Invite a new child each time to see how well your kid takes it up and gels with the new member added to the play world.

4. Read, Read and Read.

Our elders said a wise man can always become wiser! Reading is the best practice that holds good and will have no replacement ever. We will have to resort to reading until scientists invent pills with knowledge. Reading helps the autistic child to relate to the people in real life and show off thoughtful actions or expressions.

• Read some stories to your child and show pictures. Ask questions about the character in the picture – “how is the character reacting and feeling?”
• Read emotionally driven kid stories and connect the stories to real life and site examples.
• As a parent, keep reading more on how you can improvise on your techniques to teach your child and think about long-term success.

5. Friend’s Kids are Your Kid’s Friends?

Friendship cannot be forced, can it? If your friends have kids, do not force your child to be friends with their kids. This logic rarely succeeds and not just puts you in a position where neither would you enjoy nor your child.

• Let your kid be friends who share his interest.
• Let go of the comparison of your kid with the others. He is different in his own unique way; love him for what he is.
• Do not hold up to any preconceived ideas of how you would have imagined your kid to be in the future. Your kid may not be able to adjust to the pressure.

6. Express Your Love to Your Everyday

Your child needs love and has to believe in himself. This could be primarily possible only when you spend valuable time with your kid holding his hand and looking into the eyes – “I love you”. Celebrate every little moment with your kid and take life easy!