Have you forgotten what is “me-time”? The moment your new little one comes into your arms, there is a whole new set of feelings and emotions rushing through you – the feeling of pride, joy, fear, wonderment and some mom guilt. Because, if there is anything you would not do as a guardian of the baby, it becomes your entire fault forevermore. So how do you get over Mom guilt?
Honestly, who hasn’t brushed off their little one saying “not now, sweetie, I am busy”, only to regret that choice later. When my elder sister had a daughter, I was with her all the time as support. Clearly, I could see her having sleepless nights. On the third night, the same story continued when I urge my sister to put the baby on her nursery furniture(R) so that she could get some sleep. To my surprise, she did not and the next day she told me why. She said, deep inside, she was overwhelmed with sense guilt after how could she even abandon her newborn?!
And yes, that was just the beginning. It is most often called “mummy guilt” it is the mom who tends to judge herself or by others, but on the other hand, the father sometimes as well faces this guilt. There are nearly infinite reasons a parent can feel guilty – undoubtedly, this is the parent territory! It is time to say goodbye to the blame game by learning the fact that it is OK to enjoy life’s luxuries and go for some date nights and plans weekends minus kids.
Why do Moms Feel Guilty?
Well, it is a fact that mom guilt is the result of our own presence of mind and decisions. Many of us higher up the standard as soon as we embrace the parenthood. Even though everyone has their own opinion on child rearing however we have seen most of our lives in action. Throughout our lives, we have been thinking as to what are for parents have done right or wrong in raising us up, and hence it’s easy for us to have an idea of what we should do as a parent.
Everybody wants to be a “perfect” parent for their child. You can never lose a smile be it shuffling your kids to and fro from activities and never raising a voice against your kid. Preparing the healthiest meal for your kids to gobble up and the list goes on. And you think you would never feel guilty when you are torn into so many directions?
Parenthood is also a huge part of an image and identity which means when anything goes wrong it directly reflects on the efforts of the parents on their ability. If the kid is successful in academics, mom and dad into have done a great job. Did the kid learn swimming? Mom and dad, why don’t you try harder to push him? And it is also possible that if the child has a scar on him for lifelong, you might be blamed forever.
We have seen that other people do not generally help. The parents are always given a stern look full of judgment when the child is glued to the iPad in an airport is crying the lungs out in an air flight or having the most crooked haircut in a restaurant. These are literally just a few examples that do happen in a daily “mom’s life”
Reasons for Mom Guilt:
- When the mother decides to not breastfeed while everyone else says that is the best for the baby. This is usually the working mom guilt.
- When you forget that it’s a pajama day at school you just feel guilty about that.
- When you have 3 dogs at home and your kid is allergic to it.
- You forgot the kid’s hat and turns out that it is too sunny on the playground.
- You forgot the gloves and took out your kids to the playground when it’s freezing.
- When your child does not get along other kids at school, you might wonder that he has inherited the poor social skills from you.
- You might as well sometimes get guilty of your first child lacking a sibling.
- Your kid has picked up a terrible habit or activities and language.
- When your child wants your attention and asked you to play with them, you might not have time.
- A typical stay at home Mom guilt when your kid is on a diet of burger and chocolate milk because some weeknights you just do not want to cook.
We have rounded up some ways to get over guilt:
These are only tips to release mummy guilt however you might have to get beyond it yourself.
1. Take a vacation with your partner:
As tradition goes, you can let the kids spend time with their dear grandparents why you have your couple time and rejuvenate. It is important for you and your partner and you must not feel guilty about it.
2. Remember you are more than a mom:
Mom feels that they should be having a focus on the baby like a laser beam. And the moment they take for themselves they feel like they are being neglectful. Especially for the working mums who try to spend every single time after they work with the kid feel guilty in case they are doing something else during their free time off work. Remember, a happy mom makes a happy family. You have a life too and choose to live your life the way you want to giving all the necessity and care for your child.
3. Yelling at you kid when I did not do anything wrong?
Surely not a great move but this is the opportunity to teach the kid that even you screw up sometimes. You must say sorry and let them know that you love them like never before – it makes the situation lot better.
4. You by yourself genuine one:
It is OK to buy yourself shoes with genuine leather and your daughter, faux leather. You treat your shoes better than your daughter and hence you have outgrown them.
5. Guilty about your cooking skills?
Your son might have complimented your culinary skills, even when you are feeding him with pre-breaded Microwave chicken breasts. All you did was to press the start button to heat. Accept your kids’ appreciation and feel good about it that they are happy.
6. Tossing their artwork:
Your child is a brilliant artist and you have sentimental value to it. But you already are dealing with a heap of crafts at home. Filled up 2 bags and a wardrobe section but what next? You have to pour a wine for yourself and relax. It is okay to feel better and do what you think is right.
7. Not allowing your little girl to have earpieces and makeup:
It is surely your decision as you are the elder one amongst the two. And you know that there are multiple reasons to do so. Until at least an age you think your baby has got the immunity to fight the infection, you are doing right.
8. Unable to work out?
Honestly, you need to get out some time for yourself and in no case, you going off to the gym or run or a walk with your child is going to reduce the love for your kid.
9. You have your kitchen dirty?
Give it a break. Your baby needs you more than your kitchen and house. Everything does not have to be perfect at home, although all you need to make sure to have a safe environment for your child. Take it slow and easy; spend time with your family.
Let us know your ways of getting over the mom guilt. Please share ahead and keep reading with us.
