ADHD affected children have a troublesome life at home, school, college, and then at the workplace. Parents can really make a difference to your kid’s life if they understand that “it’s ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) which is your enemy, it is not your little kiddo”. It is really easy to become a hateful parent but it is difficult to raise a child with patience and love. Even, children with ADHD have something great in store for their regular daily life. Enjoy those beautiful childhood moments of your kid.
ADHD is a commonly occurring mental disorder and so, blaming others for your child’s condition wouldn’t help it anyway. These are the few tips you can incorporate in your own personality for better parenting of the children affected with ADHD. An ADHD affected child just need your love and care with a lot of patience. It’s not your child’s intention to test your patience but keep in mind that your child is born in that challenging way only.
Understand that being a good parent is not enough when you have a child with ADHD.
Be A Good Parent With These Better Parenting Tips
These tips will just not help you to deal with the daily life with an ADHD child but also, are useful for to understand how to behave in such a way that your ADHD child can improvise him- or herself.
1. Accept The Truth “Your Child Is Imperfect” – Like All Children
We understand it is not easy to accept that there is something which is not normal for your kid. But, a child understands when his/her parents are disappointed because of their child’s behavior. Such a child will never gain confidence and will always lack in self-esteem. If you want to lift up your child’s spirit then it is important that you accept your child the way he/she is. Also, understand that your child doesn’t need your quick fixes for this medical condition.
Ken Brown-Gratchev, a special education instructor says, “For a child to feel accepted and supported, he needs to feel that his parents have confidence in his abilities.” He added, “Once parents learn to look at the gifts of ADHD — things like exceptional energy, creativity, and interpersonal skills — they can see the shine inside their child.”
2. Don’t Believe In All The Bad Remarks
You will be hearing bad remarks about your kid. For instance, your child’s school teachers might say your child is slower than the rest of the kids. It will surely affect you but don’t let such bad remarks deter you. You need to make your child stronger by making sure that your child gets everything he wanted to complete his/her education. It is absolutely true that you have got a special child but his/her ability to learn is not lesser than any other normal kid. A kid with ADHD can be a successful person in the future if he/she gets the help the child needed.
George DuPaul who is a professor of school psychology at Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, gave an example of your kid needs better education and why you should advocate on your special child’s behalf. He said that “Look at it this way—if your child was diabetic or had asthma, would you, for one single minute, hesitate to advocate for his benefit?”
3. If You Are Overestimating The Effects of Medication
It is already well known that the right medication for children with ADHD can improve their behavior. But, if you are thinking that medication is the only factor by which your kid is going to live a normal life then you are overestimating the effects medication. There are a number of other factors which make your child’s life better. Make your child remember that he/she needs to take her medication on time. If you have seen your child doing the same thing again and again, even after, you have asked not to then keep yourself calm. Ask your child whether he/she is taken the morning medication. Also, make sure that you never threaten your child. Never tell your child that you will increase the dosage if he/she is not listening to you. This might lead to appropriate action of your child.
Dr. Brown-Gratchev suggested that “If you take the Clint Eastwood approach, you’ll wind up exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. Build a NASA-worthy support system. That way, when your own ‘system’ overloads or fails, as it inevitably will from time to time, there’s someone to put you back together again.”
4. Understand The Difference Between Discipline and Punishment
Many parents don’t understand that there is a difference between discipline and punishment. Beating, yelling, scolding, or taking your child’s toys away won’t make your child a better person. All of your tactics are confusing. Instead, try to discipline your child with ease. Discipline is very important for all the kids as it teaches the child “how to behave?”. Even, sometimes, punishment is also required. But, physical or verbal abuse under the name of punishment will go horribly wrong. Discipline is a way of positive reinforcement for the good behavior of the child. On the other hand, punishment is something which is forceful and forces your child to behave properly.
Now, to discipline children affected with ADHD, you need a simple formula of discipline for special children. Let your child know the age-appropriate, attainable goals for your child. After the completion of every goal appreciate your child with a reward. Keep repeating this process until it becomes a pattern in your child’s life.
5. Never Punish Your Child For Any Behavior That He/She Can’t Control
You might have given a single instruction several times but there is a possibility that your child is unable to understand your instruction. There is another possibility that he/she might not be able to perform what you have asked him/her to. This situation will possibly fill you with anger but you need to keep your calm. If you are thinking of scolding or beating your child then you are being absolutely wrong.
According to doctors, yelling or scolding is not the right approach to approach your child. As per professionals, a child doesn’t actually ignore your instruction, in fact, your child forgets your instruction because he/she gets distracted with some other task. We all know that distraction is another symptom of ADHD. This situation of not being able to finish the task is something beyond your child’s power. And, if you keeping punishing your child for something which is beyond his/her control then your child will stop bothering about whatever you say. Because your child is set as a failure in his/her own eyes. Thus, stop punishing your child for anything which not under his/her control.
So, before you opt for your own way of parenting for ADHD affected children, you should keep all these points in your mind. Your special child requires your love, care, and time. Only you can improve the condition of your little kid.
6. Stop Blaming Others For Your Child’s Difficulties
We have already told you to accept your child the way he/she is. So, also accept that your child could be a trouble for those who are genuinely complaining. If you are one of those parents who think that their children are simply flawless and none can point a finger at them, then you are being absolutely wrong. We understand your selfless love for your kid, but if you keep on protecting your child from his/her every mistake, then your child will think that he/she can easily find a way out even after being trouble for others. Don’t blame others for your child’s mistake. If you know that your child is capable of doing whatever you have heard then you should be talking to your own instead of blaming teachers or somebody else for your child’s mistake. Your child must know the sense of responsibility.
7. Never Underestimate Your Child
Calling names to your child would be easy but you never know the impacts of those words or names on your child’s mind. Calling your child as “lazy” or “slob” will make your child’s condition worse. It is a known fact that kids who generally hear bad words about them, eventually, begin to believe those words. According to a child psychologist, Carol Brady, “When you personalize a child’s ADHD-associated problems, her self-esteem plummets. But when you team up with your child to problem-solve various negative behaviors, you create a climate where your child feels loved and supported despite her shortcomings.” It is better to involve your kids and let them know that they are facing problems unlike other kids but together you can find a solution.
8. Don’t Say “No” Reflexively
Many parents are habitual to say “no” to their kids. It might happen because they are worried about their children or they want to control them or out of their fear. Whatever the reason is but saying no all the time will make your kid rebellious in nature. There are times when you can just approve of what your child has to ask. Or instead of saying no straight on your kid’s face, you can just provide your child with a better option. For instance, if your little one is being adamant about going to play then you can ask for your kid’s help in some of your work. This will not make him/her feel that he is being totally ignored. Also, your child will feel that he/she has a bigger work to finish than to go out and play.
9. Emphasize On More of Your Child’s Positive Behavior
There are times when parents just ignore the positive of their kids in a fight to minimize their negative behaviors. Parents should maintain a balance between getting rid of negative and praising the positive behavior of their children. If you would be able to catch your child at the right time and praise him/her for the positive behavior then you are encouraging your child for more good deeds. It also gives a sense to your children about what exactly their parents expect from them.
10. Anticipate Ahead
Can you imagine a situation where your little girl who is affected with ADHD is invited to a birthday party? You know that your child is not popular among her classmates and the girl who invited her had a brawl with your kid a couple of days ago. What would you do in such a situation? Will you hope for everything to go well?
To be honest, generally, parents don’t take much time in reacting to such news. Do they think that this is their ray of hope to give a new start to their kid but is it really true? Absolutely not. Parents must think about the future and plan accordingly. You should analyze every detail before sending off your kid to an unknown birthday bash. Parents must discuss everything their kids’ want. Their kids must know what is going in their parents’ minds.
11. Be An Ideal Role Model
Children get most of their behavior from their parents. So, it will be better if you could just think before you act. Shouting or yelling in front of your kids will make a similar impact on your kids’ behavior. Hence, next time, when you feel that you are boiling with anger then instead of yelling at anyone just leave the room, take a few deep breaths and whatever it takes to calm yourself down. With this, you can teach your kids the way to control their anger.
12. Never Hesitate To Seek Help From Others
Understand that there are few things in life that you can’t do on your own. Same goes with raising a child with ADHD. You always need someone to keep you strong; mentally and emotionally. You can ask your pediatrician for the name of a psychologist for your kid. It will help you to keep fighting with the issue patiently and calmly.
A child with ADHD always needs proper care and medication. But, the parents are the only one who can positively mold their child with better parenting strategy. Follow these parenting tips to give a better future to your kid.
