Grandparents are awesome. Kids love to be around their grandparents. But with the love and the bonding, there are chances that things could go wrong. Parents have this notion that grandparents might be overstepping more than what they are supposed to go beyond.
Getting help and support from the grandparents is a great and wonderful thing. This is not a matter of denying but still setting boundaries for grandparents is very essential.
By the end of the article, you will have a fair share of information about the ways to deal with grandparents interfering the boundaries with a child. So, just scroll down the article and read on.
How To Set Boundaries With Grand Parents?
Here are few ways that will guide you to set the grandparents from overstepping boundaries; some of them are as follows-
1. Put Yourself In Their Shoe:
It is an obvious notion that your parents expect you to enjoy the bliss of parenthood by planning for a baby as soon as you get married.
It is obvious to some extent as it acts as a second chance for them to relive your youth that include loving, nurturing, and cultivating you.
If you are not able to come across the expectation of your parents, then do have an effective communication and keep across your point very transparent. What matters over here is that none of you should get hurt.
2. Keep Your Request Simple:
Communicating is important between you and your parents as well. You and your partner have to communicate by keeping the request simple.
You have to discover non-negotiable requests and express them to the grandparents clearly, concisely, and in a way which will act as a powerful way to set the boundaries. The simpler you are, the more effect it is in setting the boundaries for the grandparents.
3. Set The Boundaries:
It is said that “good boundaries makes good grandparents”. Boundaries help to teach people respect on how to treat one another. Before following this step, the first and foremost thing that you need to do is talk and put your expectation very clearly in front of them.
But, make sure of one thing that you have to be very mindful and respectful after you implement the boundaries for the grandparents as you will be receiving barrage of push back. Just honour their space and speak the truth, leave the rest to them.
4. Express Gratitude:
It is very important to teach your kids to express their gratitude for their grandparents. It is too easy for the grandparents to forget when you have planned something for yourself like dinner, outing, holiday etc.
But make sure you acknowledge and express the gratitude no matter it is for a big or small and enjoy the best part of the parenting.
You Can Read on: Great activities for grandparents and grand children
5. When Boundaries Are Crossed, Address Them:
I know this is not an easy step to work on. As the boundaries are crossed, it is sometimes difficult to address them specifically. In this case, what matters is that you have to be very clear with the way of communication with respect to what you feel and try to express it.
It is well said that “Not all boundary violation deserve a (time out) but with respect to all boundaries violation deserve to be rectified, addressed and realigned etc.”
6. Keep the Big Picture In Mind:
As I said above, grandparents are awesome. It is you who need to protect, care, love, nurture, and savor the relationship between you and grandparents. You have to sometimes be quiet and compromise your opinion and feels even if you know that they are wrong.
Just remember that they matter a lot to you and do show them unconditional love, affection, and be sweet to them.
7. Stay Cool And be Chill:
This is too difficult to handle and maintain at some particular moments. But nothing is impossible as all we know.
Try to maintain cool and patient state of mind when your grandparents’ thoughts don’t match yours. Even when you know they are wrong and you are right, it is you who has to be patient and carry on with it.
8. Meet Conflict Head On:
This is one of the important steps that help to deal with over involved grandparents. There will be certain of times when you will be dealing with your inner voice and outer voice.
This really works to deal with the traumas and helps to respect each other’s feelings, opinion etc. It is a more of indirect way but has a direct impact on the grandparents overstepping boundaries.
9. Check Your Expectation:
It is a very important step that you need to carry on in setting the boundaries for grandparents. You can do this by having a clear and open communication between each other.
Make sure you put your expectation and points very clearly in front of them before the baby does come. Just do avoid the disagreement between both of you and maintain a healthy relationship between yourself.
10. Keep in Touch:
Here comes with another major step that can help maintain boundaries with grandparents. There are certain situations where the grandparents will be nervous as they are worried about the new member in the family.
In such circumstances, it is very important to keep in touch with your grandparents and make them feel comfortable.
List Of Boundaries Grand Parents:
Here are some advices that the grandparents should follow-
- Before you give any sort of gift to your grand children it is very important to be aware of the pit fall of gift giving (R) . Before you buy any sort of gift, do ask your grand children.
- There are few families that will accept the proximity of you with your grand children where as there are few that they won’t accept it and think that their freedom and anatomy will be hampered. So, before you get close, just make sure you discuss about it.
- Don’t try to make decision about them with regards to their daily routine and setting. It is the parents who need to take care of it. So you should maintain a distance in between.
- As I said above, the grandparents don’t make parenting decisions so it is wise to refrain from the expressing your opinion. It is advised for you to give decisions or opinion when you are asked for it.
- I know as grandparents you must be super excited to plan the first birthday of your grand child when it comes to cake, dress etc. But make sure to check with acceptance of the parents as some parents will like it and others won’t. So share your ideas when you are asked about it or are involved in the planning.
- As grandparents, you can share some of the money for your grandchild’s future. It is not compulsory, do it if you are capable the same. This doesn’t give you an extra input as grandparents.
- Don’t interfere in your grandchildren’s decisions involving their choice, opinion, thought, action etc. This will kill their privacy and will hamper your relationship with them.
Grandparents are a very important part in your life. They act as a supportive pillar for your home. You have to respect their feelings and ensure that the same is reciprocated as well. I hope this article has given you a clear information about the various ways that can help to set boundaries for the grandparents.
