This is a topic we get a lot of questions from the new parents usually. Parents often assume a lot about this method the moment they hear or read about it. “Cry it out” method is not a new one, but a very old sleep train method for a kid which was shared ages ago to understand how the cry it out method changes the baby’s personality.
A lot of parents ask if they should try “cry it out” or not and how does it help the upbringing of the kids. It is a very effective sleep training method. Let’s answer your questions today to help you decide whether or not to try it and if it will work with your child’s temperament.
What is Cry it Out Method?
Do you know that your baby has the skill to sleep out of its own and the cry it out approach helps them to master it if given an opportunity? If you are used to nursing your baby while they try to sleep or rock them to get them to sleep, they will never master the art of falling asleep of their own. As a baby or an adult, all of them have their own sleep cycles – which means the baby is alarmed and cries for you to go back to sleep instead of falling asleep on its own.
If your baby learns to fall asleep on its own, then they know to do that in case they wake up at night or early morning and not cry. Crying although is an inevitable side effect to your baby to fall asleep on his own. It is said that a short-term of pain can lead to a long-term advantage. Which means a few tears of your baby is worthy the peaceful nights you will have. If your kid goes to sleep easily, and happily of its own, the parent is bound to have a good night’s rest.
Pediatricians say, for the development of a baby’s sleep habits, crying is a necessary part. Babies as young as 8 weeks old can be left alone to cry as long as necessary before they fall asleep and self-soothe. There could be a need to purposely putting down the kid awake so that they can learn to go back to sleep on their own. The babies adjust to the schedules very easily if followed by the routine.
How to Do it and When Can Baby Cry it Out?
Between the ages of 4 to 6 months, your baby is ready to sleep through the nights. Usually, a kid’s routine can change depending on the individual and thus there is no precise age for this technique. You can always check with the pediatrician for the readiness of your baby. If there is too much resistance still from the toddler, then wait for a week and then repeat.
When to Let your Baby Cry Out
Are you thinking- what is the right age for the baby to cry it out? The answer is that there is no certain particular age really and it might vary from parent to parent and with the nature of the baby. It depends on the parent to learn when the baby is ready, you do not suddenly one day realize and put them through this randomly. But, you see and look at their adaptive skills, learn their routine and know that your baby is very capable to put themselves to sleep by their own. There is no magical age to this method; it could start from the 4th month or even the 6th month depending on your parenting skills. Try to learn when your baby gets fussy via the article on Wonder Weeks.
The intervals can vary depending on your baby and their resistance. However, follow the below-suggested intervals:
- The first night, leave your baby for 3 minutes the first time, about 5 minutes the second time and 10 minutes the third time and all following waiting periods.
- The second night, leave the baby for five minutes, then 10 minutes and then about 12-13 minutes.
- Make the intervals longer each subsequent night as per the comfort
Remember, this is not a miraculous method, it needs patience and time for both the parents and baby to adjust and learn.
Do’s and Don’ts for Cry it out Method Sleep Training
1. Develop a Foundation for Your Baby:
Make sure you and your parent are prepared emotionally to begin this sleep training. Be practical and start this only when both the parents are together for emotional support. If one of the parents is not in town, wait for them to return and start it together. It is advised to keep this off the grandparents as they would not agree to the process and you might be back at step one if in between the cry it out method.
2. Stick to it Once you Launch:
Parents find it easy the first couple of days, but exactly when the baby is about to break the pattern, the parents just succumb to the emotions. Do not start it if you are not sure to continue the whole process as the baby will only feel unwanted. For instance, if your baby wakes at 3 a.m. on the third night, do not run to hold him. Your hard work will be wasted and you will be back to square one.
3. Set the Theatre for Victory:
Before you start this method, develop a bedtime routine for the baby and stick to it. For example, sing a lullaby, say good night and a peck on their forehead. Do it every night so that your baby knows exactly what to expect when it is sleep time. Have a calm environment and a separate room for the baby if possible.
4. Work as a Team:
Try to relax and speak your heart to your partner during for any emotional situations on this. Also, indulge in doing something interesting during the waiting period with your partner so that you do not over think about this. Take a turn with your partner on the checks.
5. Explore other Methods:
If you think it is getting too inconsiderate for the baby, increase the time span and follow a long wait every alternate night instead of every consecutive night. But know and understand that your primary goal is to let your child have a good night’s sleep and follow the process diligently.
6. Expect Failures:
Even after you have finished the 7 steps of sleep training, expect that your child can regress occasionally if fallen sick or there is a change in the routine while travelling.
What cry it out method isn’t
- A very common notion among the parents when they hear about sleep training via cry it out is that the method is a replacement for feeding when baby cannot comfortable sleep all night without the feed. NO, it isn’t and this is lame, we do not want the baby to starve.
- Cry it out method is not meant to be used when the baby is hungry or sick.
- Cry it out method is not a replacement to parenting when the baby needs them.
- Cry it out does not mean to put your baby in a room closing the door and ignoring the baby forever.
