Many parents do not comprehend the right way to deal with the kid’s attitude problems. Some might overlook and think of ways to how to put an end to the kid’ misbehavior rather than teaching them the right and wrong.
No amount of nudging, sweet-talk, or threats would do any good with kids unless you connect consequences with their behavior and let them know that what they do will determine what happens to them. There are ways in which you can deal with kid’s bad attitude.
How to Deal With Kid’s Bad Attitude:
1. When the Kid Back Talks:
It is difficult to deal with kids having attitude problems. Especially when kids back talk, it can aggravate parent’s bad mood and also evoke strong emotional responses. Yes, we know that it is disrespectful and hurts the parents and they no more want to talk to the kid further. But when kids say things to set us off, they do not really mean it, but instead, they just do it to express their anger and might say something very hurtful to the parent. You surely can ignore it thinking the same as long as your kid is not threatening others or becomes destructive. However, if they do not stop their bad behavior and is at risk of hurting someone, it is time you do not ignore!
How to deal with it: You must address this through discussions especially when both of you are calm. Check with the kid what triggered them to do so and explain why you wanted them to deal with their misbehavior. Tell them the consequences of back talking and that it is an unacceptable behavior. Let them know that you were hurt and that it was very insensitive to them to use such words and actions. Set the limit for your kid for future and let them know the behavior you would not expect them to repeat. Coach them to control their emotions especially anger and how they can get better.
2. When you End Up in An Argument with kids:
Do you feel frustrated while you and your kid end up in an argument and do now know how to put an end to it? Many parent-child relationships face this issue. Parent in today’s world has a stressful life trying to deal with so many things at a time be it at work or back at home that they only rely on a pattern of behavior when stressed. Doing the same thing over and over again even though they do not know if that has a positive result. And so is the case with the kids that we just want to relate to them with arguments and lose sight of dealing with kids any other way.
How to deal with it: While we talk about attitude in kids, we also must know what is good for the parent to say and not to say in such cases. Never ever think that your kid will stop arguing and that you will not have to change your own behavior. Kids learn from the world to behave and talk. If you ignore, the kids learn the art of ignorance and put it to wrong use when especially turning a deaf ear to your instructions. Parents must know how to convert the argument into a healthy discussion in order for the kids to differentiate between the right and the wrong. In case you are unable to do it, seek help from your partner or any trusted friend. Prioritize your things in order to help your kid to connect with you better. Learn about how you can slow down time and enjoy with kids and family. Don’t let the situation get flared up, plan ahead the strategy to deal with misbehavior and the argue pattern. Keep motivating kids to good behavior and work together to create a loving, caring and respectful bond with kids.
3. When the Kid interrupts When you’re Talking:
Your kid might be highly energized and wants to tell you badly about something or ask a question. But if you let the kid butt into your conversation, you are encouraging this annoying behavior of your kid which might turn into a habit or regular practice and they think it gives them the authority to seek people’s attention anytime.
How to deal with it: You must not let them butt in rather, teach them how they could wait until the parent or the elder is done talking and seek for permission to talk by saying “Mom, can I talk to you for a minute about …..” If the thing needs an urgent attention, then the kid must let the parent know and could cut in the conversation. Also if they try to seek the attention by grabbing your arm or by poking you while you are busy talking, calmly point a chair or a seat to them and say sit quietly until you are finished. Afterwards, you must let the kid know that what they were doing isn’t the right thing to do and in future, they must improve and also not get what they want if repeated the act.
4. When The kid is Playing Rough:
When you see the kid playing rough with other friends, you must not ignore. A child with negative attitude must be dealt with more patience and understanding. And when you see any of such acts, you must step in. For instance, if the kid is playing and suddenly pinches another kid or shoving their sibling, they are sending a message that hurting people is acceptable which you need to break down.
How to deal with it: You must confront such aggressive behavior of kid on the spot. You must immediately pull your kid aside and tell them that “It hurt your little brother. How would you feel if they did that to you?” Let them know that any of these actions that hurt the other person is not acceptable and must not be repeated. Also, as a reminder before the next play, you must prompt your kid that they must not play rough. Help the kid to control their anxiety and anger and deal with it in a better way.
5. When the kid Pays Deaf Ears to you:
Another great act of disrespect and negative attitude in boys or girls is not to listen to someone when they are speaking. Having to tell the kid the same thing twice, thrice or even more than that is not the best way to deal with the situation as they get a message that it is okay to disregard you. Especially when you want to stay calm and remind you, child, the same thing over and over again just goes to a deaf ear is very annoying. But if you let the behavior to continue, the kid is likely to become controlling and rebellious or disobedient.
How to deal with it: The girl or a boy with the attitude of disregard must not be ignored. They must be told about the consequences and taught how to behave. In such cases, instead of talking to your kid at a distance, you must walk to them and sit with them close to tell them what they need to do. Have them to look into your eyes as eye contact helps you to take the authoritative position and ask them to respond. Saying “Okay, Mommy” helps you to know that they have heard and the kid to know that they have to do a task because they have responded. Other tactics could be by touching their shoulder to seek their attention or saying their name or removing the distraction by putting off the TV etc. can help to get the child’s attention. Even if they don’t after all these tactics, you must impose consequence.
6. Having a Little Attitude:
You might be just okay to deal with your kid’s attitude of rolling their eyes or using a snippy tone or trying to be extra cool in front of elders thinking it’s a passing phase instead of confronting it to them. But there will be a time when you feel disrespectful and later have a hard time trying to change their attitude. Hence it is said to nip it in the bud.
How to deal with it: Make your kid aware of their behavior by giving examples by rolling your eyes in the same fashion and letting them know that it does not look good. The whole reason behind this is not to let your little one feel bad about it but know that it doesn’t look or sound correct. If they still continue to do so say “I will listen to you when you stop speaking to me that way. I will talk when you are properly talking”.
7. When the Kid is Dishonest and Steals:
Dealing with a child who steals is going to be very frustrating for a parent. Whether be it just once or an ongoing issue, it has to be smartly dealt with. Kids use faulty thinking when they steal or tell themselves that this act isn’t going to hurt anyone – hence it is okay. Or they think that the other person has it in plenty so we can steal some. In most of the cases, this relates to the kid having lack of effective sense of problem-solving skill.
How to deal with it: Understand what is the child’s thinking behind it. If their thought process is that it will not harm any and that they have in plenty so it would not matter needs to be dealt strongly by the parents. They must let the kid know that stealing in any form is wrong because – even if you take a thing without anyone having to know, it is going to hurt someone down the line an is wrong and it is illegal(R) and puts you at risk of being attested and prosecuted. With this attitude in kids, you must not although snap at the kid but rather use strong words like “It is not good to steal it from the mall, let us go back and apologize and return what belongs to them. We might as well have to pay a fine, but let’s not do it ever in future” This helps the kid to get a chance to earn the trust back and learn.
